Monday, 9 March 2009

Guess what happened today.

Dear HPV vaccination,

You're currently sloshing around my body -well, I think you're sloshing, you could be surging, flooding or even meandering through my spaghetti veins - or are you in my muscles tissue? Whatever, I don't know, my important leaflet was transformed into a paper aeroplane and I drifted off in that 'informative' assembly.

You feel like you're sloshing. You feel like you've mutated from the tiny needleful you were into an burning torrent that's swelling in my arm. You're being sneaky too - its not even swelling that everyone else can see, oh no. It's hidden, internal swelling that makes me look like a waffling hypochondriac when I stiffly move my arm and wince.

Oh yeah, you thought I'd missed that. You thought I wouldn't notice that the "only around the site of injection" claim was a complete lie. What you really meant was "the entire arm, shoulder, neck and chest" didn't you? Not that I'm complaining, of course. I simply love the prospect of not being able to properly use a fork or tie my own shoe laces for a week.

Is this revenge?

Revenge for my original skeptical attitude towards you? Or the hesitant research I did before agreeing to you? Perhaps I called you the HVP jag once too often...

Something tells me I'm getting off lightly though. Despite your oddly sneaky side effects, you're doing me a great deal of good - you're protecting me against the two most common strains of HPV that eventually lead to cervical cancer.

I realise my painful arms are irrelevant.

You're completely worth it.

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